★★★★

“Although lacking the traditional sleigh bells and Santa, it does have sufficient nostalgia, silliness and giggles to fill a panto-shaped hole”

In case you’re wondering, “Hold on to your butts” is a line from Samuel L Jackson as he is about to reboot the computer systems of Jurassic Park in the 1993 ground-breaking monster flick.

It’s a terrible title for a fun evening but, I suppose, theatre company Recent Cutbacks can’t stick “Jurassic Park” anywhere near the poster for legal reasons.

But the copyright holders need not fear for their intellectual property. It’s in safe hands. This madcap shot-for-shot re-creation of the mega-dinosaur smash is made by people who adore the movie. And love movie-making.

It’s 10 years since this slick whistlestop tribute opened in New York City, later wowing crowds at the Edinburgh Fringe and now setting up at the Arcola under the direction of Kristin McCarthy Parker. Although lacking the traditional sleigh bells and Santa, it does have sufficient nostalgia, silliness and giggles to fill a panto-shaped hole.

This production takes you back. Not just to Steven Spielberg’s genius film, but to your garage, or garden, or park. Where on a rainy Sunday, with nothing else to do and the wifi down, you and your mates stumble upon a cardboard box from Tesco which once held pineapples. The box becomes everything – castle, racing car, majestic pirate ship scything the seven seas…

Here, two performers and a sound artist perform a similar feat of ingenuity and imagination in this lo-fi, charming and very funny evocation of the original.

What’s that you say? A herd of serene brachiosaurus sweeping across the plains of Isla Nublar? Here you go. A mosquito trapped in a piece of amber? A barley sugar will suffice, no?

Performers Jack Baldwin and Laurence Pears tread the fine line between slavish adoration of the original and good-natured fanboy parody. On the sidelines, but equally a star, is foley artist Charlie Ives recreating T-Rex roars, rainstorms, computer beeps, creaking branches and everything else that helps make the fun funnier.

The humour is often of the Airplane! variety – aforementioned (pre-Pulp Fiction) Samuel L Jackson’s growing smoking habit an example – and much of the joy is in the anticipation, figuring out how two men and some props retrieved from a trash can are going to make a car fall through a tree, or create the tension of a raptor hunt. And there’s much humour to be mined in the script too – such as Jeff Goldblum’s wry “chaotician” delivering his memorable brow-knitted cod-philosophies studded with Pinteresque ‘umms’ and pauses. Or that perky and patronising strand of DNA explaining how cloning works.

It helps to know something about the film because the sheer challenge of miniaturisation does lend itself to some confusion, but the iconic scenes are all there as anchors – the ripples on the cup of water, T-Rex going to town on a toilet-bound Donald Gennaro, probing a big pile of dino-poop, sweaty Wayne Knight, girlie Laura Dern…

This is the perfect night for anyone who’s ever seen a stack of cone party hats and thought – three of them, artfully placed – there’s my triceratops!

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

New Theatre Royal

★★★★

“this show will leave you smiling, laughing and thoroughly entertained”

The New Theatre Royal Portsmouth’s Beauty and the Beast is an enchanting pantomime that captures the magic of this cherished Christmas tradition. Created in association with Jordan Productions and directed by Hannah Boyce, it expertly blends humour, heartfelt moments and dazzling stagecraft, offering an unforgettable experience for the whole family.

Chris Jordan’s witty script offers a refreshing twist on the classic tale. Instead of rushing to the cursed Beast, the story takes time to explore the vain, arrogant Prince, setting the stage for a more meaningful transformation. Bored with admiring his own reflection, the Prince ventures to a nearby village to find a bride as beautiful as himself. Confident his charm will suffice, he’s stunned when Beauty shows no interest. Meanwhile, two others vie for his attention: the fabulous Dame Dotty, his housekeeper, who dreams of marrying him until she falls for a man in the front row (cue endless winks and double entendres) and the wicked enchantress Malevolent, who curses him into his beastly form when spurned.

Malevolent, with her wicked schemes, drives the conflict at the heart of the story. She’s perfectly counterbalanced by Fairy Formidable, whose comically heavy French accent and rhyming couplet battles keep the plot on track amidst the panto’s many diversions. Supporting the story are Dame Dotty’s hapless son, Potty Pierre and Beauty’s father, Jean Jacques, whose blunder at the Beast’s castle sets Beauty on her fateful journey.

The cast shines throughout. Breanna Bradshaw, in her stage debut, exudes charm and warmth as Beauty, anchoring the emotional heart of the story. Lewes Roberts skilfully portrays the Beast’s journey, transforming from a preening Prince to a shambling creature and finally a dashing hero. Chris Aukett’s Dame Dotty is a comedic powerhouse, with impeccable timing and audience interaction. Becky Vere’s Fairy Formidable and Rachel Stanley’s Malevolent create a captivating dynamic, with Malevolent’s campy villainy countered by Fairy Formidable’s bubbly optimism. Brendan Hooper as Jean Jacques and Christian James as Potty Pierre round out the cast with slapstick charm and warm-hearted humour.

Dotty and Potty frequently steal the show with their comedic timing and cleverly crafted routines. Highlights include a plate-smashing sketch, a tongue-twisting number set to I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General and the ever-popular ghost routine, which had the audience gleefully shouting “It’s behind you!” and singing along to Ghostbusters.

The French setting inspires playful musical nods: Dotty makes her grand entrance with I Love Paris, the Prince belts out a reworked Lady Marmalade and Dotty serenades her front-row amour with La Vie en Rose. Jean Jacques’s heartfelt rendition of Charles Aznavour’s She is hilariously upstaged by Dotty and Potty’s antics, while Malevolent mocks France’s military history before launching into Waterloo. This leads to a show-stopping ABBA medley, with Dotty and Potty donning flared lycra half-and-half costumes to represent both Agnetha and Anni-Frid.

Shelley Claridge’s costumes are a visual feast, especially Dame Dotty’s outlandish ensembles, including a superhero costume, a breakfast table and a festive Christmas pudding. Beauty’s gorgeous yellow-gold ballgown, reminiscent of Belle’s iconic dress from the Disney film, is another highlight. The finale, with the cast in dazzling white and blue sparkles reminiscent of the Pompey FC strip, adds a local flourish to the magical conclusion.

Visually, the production is stunning. Andy Newell’s vibrant backdrops and David Coull’s sparkling lighting design transport the audience to an enchanted kingdom, while inventive stagecraft – including fireworks and wirework – enhances the spectacle. The ballroom dance between Beauty and the Beast, floating gracefully above the stage, is a breathtaking end of act one highlight that perfectly encapsulates the show’s romance.

Adam Haigh’s choreography and Patrick Stockbridge’s musical direction are equally impressive. High-energy dance numbers and catchy songs keep the audience engaged, while the clever mix of classic tunes and cheeky panto parodies ensures something for everyone.

The New Theatre Royal Portsmouth’s Beauty and the Beast is a shining example of pantomime at its best. With no celebrity names, the production relies on the immense talent of its cast, who give their all with skill and enthusiasm. Whether you’re a lifelong panto fan or a first-time visitor, this show will leave you smiling, laughing and thoroughly entertained.

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

Arcola Theatre

★★★★

“Although lacking the traditional sleigh bells and Santa, it does have sufficient nostalgia, silliness and giggles to fill a panto-shaped hole”

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

Arcola Theatre

Reviewed on 13th December 2024

by Giles Broadbent

Photography by Mark Senior

Previously reviewed at this venue:

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

New Theatre Royal

★★★★

“this show will leave you smiling, laughing and thoroughly entertained”