“the perfect laugh-out-loud slice of silliness that we all need this year”
Seventy minutes. Seven classic pantomimes. Or is it six? We’re barely a minute in and there’s already an onstage dispute. Is ‘A Christmas Carol’ a pantomime? Daniel Clarkson and Jefferson Turner (hereinafter referred to as Dan and Jeff) differ on this matter. They don’t even agree to disagree; they just disagree. That is probably the closest you’ll get to cohesion in this insanely hilarious, outlandish, madcap romp through some our best loved Festive Fairy Tales.
Oh, no it isn’t!
Oh, yes… actually, that comes later, as do all the traditional principles: the double entendres, the slapstick, the booing and the hissing, the ‘ghost gag’, the songs. But the overriding ingredient in “Potted Panto” is the humour. Seventy minutes may be quite a short running time in a West End theatre, but it is a long time to laugh out loud. If you do go to see this show (and you most certainly should) then make sure you get in trim. Apparently we use thirty muscles when we laugh. You will need them all to be in top notch condition for this show.
Dan and Jeff are masters of the craft. As a double act they have perfected their comic timing, chemistry and intuitive sense of humour. They make old jokes new and new jokes sound like seasoned classics. Where others subvert the genre, they just completely capsize it. The kids love it without being patronised and the adults love it without having to dumb down. With Richard Hurst (who directs too) Dan and Jeff have concocted a script that is intensely intelligent and supremely silly.
‘Jack and the Beanstalk’, ‘Dick Whittington’, ‘Snow White’, ‘Sleeping Beauty’, Cinderella’, ‘Aladdin’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’ have barely a ten-minute time slot each. But it’s a wonder any of the storylines can be squeezed in amid the deviations, digressions and surreal tangents that the couple go off on. Jacob Jackson and Charlotte Payne appear in cameo roles occasionally, but otherwise it’s all down to Dan and Jeff. And Nicky Bunch’s offbeat costumes. In time honoured Vaudeville fashion, they pay homage to the likes of Morecambe and Wise, among others. Jeff is the (ever so) slightly more serious one, hopelessly trying to reign in Dan and teach him the intricate rules of Pantomime (“No, Dan, ‘Das Boot’ is not a traditional pantomime!”).
Where else on the stage can you experience theatre in 3D? Think about that one. Where else can Prince Charming get the chance to kiss three iconic Fairy-tale princesses in the space of half an hour? (Well – he actually doesn’t. In a very tongue-in-cheek nod to wokeness, our gallant Prince informs us that breaking into a sleeping girl’s bedroom with the intent to kiss her without consent is “not happening on my patch!”). How does Aladdin’s antagonist, Abanazer, end up being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future? This is just the tip of the iceberg. It is tempting to reveal the many, many other bizarre moments, topical jokes, cross references, cross dressing, character bending, plot twisting-until-its-snapping, in jokes, out jokes, shake-it-all-about jokes, visual puns, self-mockery, satire, innuendos… but I won’t.
Oh, yes I… (no – I won’t).
“Potted Panto” is the perfect laugh-out-loud slice of silliness that we all need this year. A must see for everyone. Especially for those who dislike (or pretend to) the genre. It is impossible not to love this show. It is seven stories for the price of one. And seventy minutes of unadulterated joy, which is priceless.
Most people are familiar with the Brothers Grimm tale ‘Rumpelstiltskin’. If you’re one of those who isn’t (what sort of childhood did you have?) then the Park Theatre this Christmas is not the place to enlighten you. You’ll come away none the wiser. Unless you concentrate on the opening number of the show, the lyrics of which give a potted summary of the story. After which the plot is dispensed with entirely while ‘Charles Court Opera’ take you on a mad, magical, journey into what they call ‘Storyland’. One would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they were concocting this year’s pantomime. What were they thinking? What were they drinking? Whatever the answer, if they had as much fun as the audience do witnessing the result, it’s confirmation that theatre is the best job in the world.
In the States, John Savournin’s script would be titled; “Rumpelstiltskin II”. We’ve had the backstory. Now what happens? Rumpelstiltskin is still a bit of a bad Goblin. Some people never learn! He still grants wishes. But at a price. “What’s the point if you get nothing in return?”. His logic is pretty convincing, except that it is clear he’s not very popular. And because everybody always manages to guess his name, he one day fatefully wishes he didn’t have one. Be careful what you wish for! Cue the Dreamcatcher. She grants the wish. Rumpelstiltskin’s name is erased. But so is ‘Fairyland’. It might be worth pointing out here that the Dreamcatcher has already previously banished the ‘Storyteller’ to a giant castle in the sky at the top of the beanstalk. Come on – keep up! Without the Storyteller there are no stories. Devoid of his name (now just referred to as the Goblin), Rumpelstiltskin makes it his mission to rescue the storyteller – along with all our hopes and dreams that come with the magic of storytelling.
Cue Daisy the Cow, three blind mice, a mischief of rats, the Genie of the Lamp, Captain Hook, Peter Pan, a flying carpet, Jack (and his Beanstalk), a poisoned apple, Larry the Downing Street cat (don’t ask), the Stone Guardians (I said don’t ask), an ex-prime minister, a Cockney copper… where do we stop? Not forgetting the many other references brilliantly and bizarrely crammed into the chaos. To start on the locations would take me way over my word count. And to explain how all the characters, locations and plot twists are linked would be a bit like trying to untangle last year’s Christmas tree lights. You’re better off reading Kant’s ‘Critique of Pure Reason’ – the chapter on explaining the inexplicable.
It is crazy. But in the best way possible. This show is the best way to warm you up on these cold nights. And amongst the lunacy is lucidity. Beneath the craziness is a very fine message indeed – and the balance is just right. Storytelling is threatened. It can be saved if there is enough belief in its power. The four performers are working on two levels. There is enough for us jaded adults, but they are aware that for many in the audience, this show might be their first experience of live theatre. Part of the pleasure of pantomime is watching the expressions of the younger audience members. It’s safe to say that these guys are now hooked. Job done! Much of the credit goes to Philip Lee who plays the eponymous Rumpelstiltskin throughout, while Emily Cairns, Tamoy Phipps and Lucy Whitney breathlessly take on everyone, and everything, else. If it’s chaotic onstage, what is it like backstage – among the crates of costume, props, accents and personalities that the cast have to sift through at breakneck speed.
David Eaton’s compositions are a mixture of pastiche and sheer originality. A touch of rap, a whiff of steampunk, electronica and delightfully catchy indie-pop. Sometimes it’s as if the Blockheads had met The Shamen at a hen party. I know that makes no sense but surely you’ve got the drift by now. Sondheim gave us ‘Into the Woods’. Eaton gives us ‘are we out of the woods yet?’.
The answer is beside the point. We want to stay in this world as long as we can. It is fantastic and fantastical. When Rumpelstiltskin meets the King and becomes our new prime minister (look – I’ve told you already… don’t ask) we are reminded that, despite everything, there is hope for a better world. Charles Court Opera give us a fairly schmaltzy finale. The ‘Storyteller’ is rescued. The future of stories and dreams is safe once again. As the company sing us out with heart-warming positivity something tugs within us. And we look once more to the young faces in the audience. Yes – there is hope. Charles Court Opera’s “Rumpelstiltskin” should definitely be on your Santa List.
