THE CRUMPLE ZONE at the Waterloo East Theatre

★★★

“The fast pace creates its own sense of delirium, and the bitter aftertaste is delicious”

There is love happening in a festive Staten Island apartment. There is heartbreak happening too. There are heartfelt dilemmas as a twentysomething quartet – three men and a woman – try to sort out their criss-crossed relationships on the eve of Christmas.

In director Helen Bang’s cacophonous onslaught, sometimes it’s difficult to pick out these love stories from the rest. Because, between episodes of soul-searching, ecstasy and grief, there are the endless, merciless histrionics. No thought goes unexpressed. No minor shift in mood or status isn’t analysed then shouted loudly into someone’s face.

At the heart of it all, though, there’s the love quadrangle. Bitter queen Terry (scene stealer James Grimm) adores clean-cut Buck (James Mackay). But Buck has fallen for twisted and torn bi-sexual Alex (Jonny Davidson) who has girlfriend Sam (Sinead Donnelly) at arm’s length until he figures out his feelings for Buck, who loves him to the point of weepy despair.

Sam arrives for a showdown, having figured out something’s afoot. She stirs a pot already whizzing like a whirlpool.

Terry, never short of a bitchy exit line, sums it up thus, “Everyone I know is in love with everyone else I know.” Terry, shorn of reciprocal love himself, tends to scoop up random men, such as macho married-with-kids Roger (Nicholas Gauci) for hook-ups.

Terry, a feather boa on legs, is exhausting. They all are. Their verbal assaults tend to peak in either furious sex or rancorous wrestling, the difference between the two being moot.

Writer Buddy Thomas’ wordy mile-a-minute script – funny, busy and clever – is overwhelming at times. The cast feel it. They gamely wrangle the machine-gun acid drops but sometimes it simply gets away from them. The script is like a very big dog on a leash who spots a squirrel in the park – they hang on being pulled this way and that, hoping for a break.

There’s little time for nuance or character. They barely have a chance to register a reaction to some putdown before issuing a fully formed, impeccably paced, beautifully sour response. Consequently, there is very little genuine interaction, just a lot of staged sequential and sour monologues.

However, there are plums in the pudding. Alex’s comic retelling of his sacking as a mall Santa has room to breathe and is rewarding as a result. Grimm does a good line in drunken self-annihilation and Donnelly’s mousy Sam brings a squeak of genuine sadness to the tinselled madhouse.

Of course, Christmas spirit wins in the end, sort of, if not resolving the woes, then at least postponing conflict until the New Year. Everyone can have some turkey and lay down their weapons. Although you sense the men love the friction more than the ceasefire and can’t wait for hostilities to resume.

The performances here are spirited and fun. The fast pace creates its own sense of delirium, and the bitter aftertaste is delicious. If you’re looking for a dark alternative to a raft of cloying Christmas shows, set up camp in The Crumple Zone.

Naughty but nice. But naughty.

THE CRUMPLE ZONE at the Waterloo East Theatre

Reviewed on 29th November 2024

by Giles Broadbent

Photography by Peter Davies

Previously reviewed at this venue:

STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW | ★★★★★ | July 2021

THE CRUMPLE ZONE

THE CRUMPLE ZONE

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