THE CROWN JEWELS at the Garrick Theatre

★★★

“survives on the energy of its comedians, and the competence of the rest of the cast”

Expect to be disappointed if you turn up to the Garrick Theatre for an historically accurate show about King Charles II and the theft of the Crown Jewels in 1671. If, on the other hand, you are buying a ticket for Simon Nye’s The Crown Jewels because you know that several of Britain’s leading comedians and stand up artists are in the cast, you will probably enjoy this show. You will then, quite rightly, be expecting an entertaining evening full of ad libs and dangerously outrageous exchanges with the audience. But let me give you some words of advice anyway: gentlemen, don’t sit in the first three rows if you aren’t sporting a well made periwig. And ladies, don’t sit there either if your partner is even slightly prone to fits of jealousy. Don’t expect to be safe from the cast’s attention if you splurged on tickets for a box, either.

The facts surrounding the seventeenth century’s most notorious jewel heist are well known. But if you need a refresher, the programme notes for The Crown Jewels are well written and provide a wealth of background information about the main characters in Nye’s drama. The appropriately named Colonel Thomas Blood apparently hatched a plot to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London in an attempt to recover his Irish estates. Blood lost those as a result of switching sides to support the Parliamentarians under Oliver Cromwell during the English Civil War. Hatching plots against the Crown was nothing new to Blood—he’d been involved in several—but stealing the royal regalia was the crowning event of his career, as it were. If only Nye’s play was as well constructed as the programme notes. But The Crown Jewels is a shaky mash up in Horrible Histories, Blackadder—and even Panto—territory, and we’re nowhere near panto season in August. But perhaps it doesn’t matter. The Crown Jewels has been created to provide a rich—seriously rich—backdrop for its comic stars. It’s difficult not to see the rest of the show as just adroitly crafted stage management of a complicated set with lots of changing scenery.

It takes a while to warm to The Crown Jewels, and this is mostly time spent trying to figure out the plot. The characters on stage bear no resemblance whatsoever to the historical figures they are meant to represent. But let’s list them anyway. There’s Al Murray, (of Pub Landlord fame) playing Charles II with a strangled accent, Mel Giedroyc, (Great British Bake Off) doubling as the Keeper of the Crown Jewels’ gap toothed wife and—a brilliant contrast this —a very seductive French Noblewoman; Neil Morrissey (Men Behaving Badly) as Blood’s co-conspirator Captain Perrot; and Joe Thomas (The Inbetweeners) as Blood’s son. Carrie Hope Fletcher is given the opportunity to show off her beautiful singing voice as Elizabeth Edwards. She otherwise has little else to do as the Keeper’s daughter desperately searching for a husband, if only to avoid calling the Tower of London, home. The gifted Aidan McArdle as Colonel Blood has the thankless task of acting the villain, yet manages to make him sympathetic. Adonis Siddique has the even more thankless task of supporting Charles II as a footman.

But the real crown jewel of this production is, of course, Al Murray, doing his recognizable schtick as the Merry Monarch himself. There are lots of inappropriate jokes of all kinds, involving the newly discovered banana, to mention just one routine. McArdle really had my sympathy there. And on this particular evening, Murray set up a lively exchange with a couple of audience members from Australia (still undiscovered in Charles II’s time.) The Dutch also came in for a particular roasting, as the historical Charles was still smarting, in 1671, from a daring naval attack on London. One or two supporters attempted to stand up for the poor Dutch, and were ruthlessly put back in their places. Murray knows how to work his crowd.

The Crown Jewels survives on the energy of its comedians, and the competence of the rest of the cast. The set design by Michael Taylor (who also designed the costumes) is also competent, although not, strictly speaking, historically accurate either. But pretty to look at, nonetheless. Fans of Al Murray will enjoy this show. But it’s not suitable for children, despite its similarity to panto. And The Crown Jewels won’t teach you much about the complicated politics and larger than life characters who really lived during Charles II’s reign. But it’s an enjoyable evening in the West End, nonetheless.

THE CROWN JEWELS at the Garrick Theatre

Reviewed on 8th August 2023

by Dominica Plummer

Photography by Hugo Glendinning

Previously reviewed at this venue:

Orlando | ★★★★ | December 2022

Myra Dubois: Dead Funny | ★★★★ | September 2021

The Crown Jewels

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★★★

“Kevin Martin Murphy is a sympathetic performer, and knows how to connect with an audience”

Kevin Martin Murphy’s one man show End of the World FM is an appropriately apocalyptic musing on the state of a world that has succumbed to climate crisis, and the collapse of capitalism. Written by Murphy, and directed by James Tudor Jones, End of the World FM has the kind of edgy energy you would expect from a character who finds himself alone on a planet that has contracted to a radio broadcasting studio. Is there anyone out there listening?

In the course of sixty minutes in real time, and the fifteen years that pass on stage, James Martin Murphy invites us into a vastly contracted space that is End of the World FM. It’s a believable depiction of a Radio Host who finds himself the only person—no wait, only creature—left alive on a cooked, and still cooking, planet. Lots of room for regrets, as you might imagine. But what is oddly hopeful about this scenario is that The Host, played by Murphy, has decided to keep broadcasting his radio show. That’s the optimistic interpretation. It might also be that the Host has just gone crazy in his isolation. Surrounding himself with the sounds of a world that is gone is the only way to keep himself tethered, no matter how tenuously, to life. It’s the music, live on air interviews with invited guests who never respond; dispatches from fictitious journalists allegedly reporting from battle zones; political ads for a Democratic candidate for an American election that won’t ever be held, and soothing female voiceovers, that keep the Host engaged. But inside the reality of his studio, it’s also clear that the lack of response—even the sounds of a vanished world—are gradually pushing the Host to the point where he’s going to have to break out, even if it means joining that world in self immolation.

Kevin Martin Murphy is a sympathetic performer, and knows how to connect with an audience. He can switch from existential despair to poignant poems to catastrophe humour at the drop of a hat. Director James Tudor Jones keeps the acting space charged with energy, but refreshingly clear of extraneous set pieces. The space is Murphy’s to fill as he wishes. And although this is a one man show, it should be noted that there are two other characters who play parts in End of the World FM. One is the soothing Female Voice (played by Rachel Verhoef) and the other is the rich and varied soundscape itself (designed by Murphy). There are two main weaknesses to the piece. The first is that the script depicts a static situation (nothing really changes over the course of fifteen years) and it’s difficult to inject much dramatic tension or even suspense into End of the World FM as a consequence. The Host’s decision to end his self imposed isolation seems an almost spur of the moment decision. And Murphy, for all his confident writing skills, is not quite as confident a performer. He’s a bit too likable, and this gives the character of The Host little room for growth.

Nevertheless End of the World FM is a show that steps out of its comfort zone, and tackles the thorny subject of a dying planet head on. It takes courage to write about that, just as it takes courage to stand alone on stage for sixty minutes and play the part of the last living creature on Earth. Is this show a fantasy or a prophecy? You decide. Let’s hope Kevin Martin Murphy and his team continue to work on producing thoughtful pieces like End of the World FM.

Tag Archives: Dominica Plummer

The Crown Jewels

★★★

Garrick Theatre

THE CROWN JEWELS at the Garrick Theatre

★★★

“survives on the energy of its comedians, and the competence of the rest of the cast”