I Will Still be Whole (When You Rip me in Half)

The Vaults

Reviewed – 27th February 2019

★★★½

“It is a shame that this show does not quite reach its full potential. Nonetheless, its moving dialogue and authentic voice make it easy to watch”

Joy watches her baby daughter sleeping. The baby opens her eyes, looks up at her mother, and smiles. With one swift motion, Joy turns and leaves the house, leaves her old life, leaves her child’s life. She will disappear for twenty years.

Today is the day. EJ will look into her mother’s eyes for the first time in over two decades. But what will she see? Will there be a reconciliation, or will the past create a barrier between them?

Ava Wong Davies’ examination of the fractured relationship between mother and daughter is intertwined with political and social commentary and executed with poetic flair. Her writing is detailed, yet restrained: it invites intrigue, but holds just enough back to keep us guessing. Whilst tackling the mother-daughter relationship, she simultaneously makes subtle commentary on identity and its instability. Although EJ seems confident, her idealisation of the white woman she met on a night out suggests that she less self-assured than we imagined. In one particularly striking scene, Joy recalls her attempts to erase all traces of foreignness. She stops cooking Chinese food for her colleagues. She practises her British accent in front of the mirror. It pays off: when people hear her clipped, unaccented voice, they smile, treat her differently.

Wong Davies’ writing is beautiful and moving, but I couldn’t help wishing that the promised discussion of ‘inherited trauma and the essential violence of whiteness’ has been more front and centre. The Pit, a small and intimate venue in the Vaults Theatre, is the ideal place to confront these issues close up. Perhaps it was director Helen Morley’s efforts to maintain pace, or the invasiveness of Amanda Fleming’s music, but it felt as though important moments evaporated too quickly.

This is unfortunate, because the production as a whole is well executed. Kailing Fu’s Joy is elusive without being too distant. Her direct honesty and deadpan wit make Joy likeable, whilst maintaining the self-imposed barrier that she has chosen to hide behind. EJ (Rosa Escoda) comes to life vividly; her uncensored authenticity make her accessible to the audience, a perfect contrast to Joy. The physical separation of the two is marked by a line of objects – shoes, a bottle of water, a bowl of oranges – that is gradually broken down as the play reaches its climax. The design is effective without feeling too contrived, and is an efficient use of the small, slightly cramped stage.

It is a shame that this show does not quite reach its full potential. Nonetheless, its moving dialogue and authentic voice make it easy to watch. My advice: take some time to sit and think about what you have just seen, it will impress the more you reflect.

Reviewed by Harriet Corke

I Will Still be Whole (When You Rip me in Half)

Part of VAULT Festival 2019

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