★★★

“Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone”

You’re a Wanker – is the opening number of Rehab the Musical and when the end comes, the audience leaves the venue merrily singing it.

It’s the hedonistic nineties when paparazzi, selling stories to the gutter press and dodgy rehabilitation clinics are all the rage. Out of control popster Kid Pop (Christian Maynard) is papped snorting cocaine; so the judge gives him 60 days in rehab, to mend his ways. But his dastardly manager Malcolm Stone (Keith Allen), sets about to keep Kid on the front pages by putting a mole inside The Grange, to dish the dirt on our Kid.

But how do you heal in 60 days? By meeting all the other inmates staying at The Grange. Meet the joyous selection of addicts with big and honest hearts. With addictions to food, drink, gambling and sex; via tanning and cheese addictions we hear their stories as they reveal their innermost obsessions in their daily therapy circle. And it’s here that the real heart of this musical is found through these extreme but loveable characters, brought to life by a line-up of stalwart and talented West End musical theatre performers including: John Barr as tanning addict Barry Bronze, Rebecca Thornhill as ex Bond girl and alcoholic Jane Killy, and Oscar Conlon-Morrey as the heart-breaking Phil Newman whose song Ordinary Girl is a highlight.

“the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals”

Christian Maynard, as Kid Pop, has all the moves, but is not able to bring such a two dimensional character to life, making his journey to redemption hard to believe. Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone in toupee and large moustache – and even manages to talk his way through his songs with aplomb. Jodie Steele, as Stone’s sidekick Beth, is underwritten; but we get a glimpse of her steel in the song Die at 27.

Rehab the Musical has music and lyrics by Grant Black and Murray Lachlan Young, with book by Elliot Davis – they all have their own personal history in rehab, addiction and recovery. Addiction is a serious subject but Rehab does have a few laughs too – plus some seriously bad jokes taking the names of Dame Shirley Bassey and Sir Tom Jones in vain – all so nineties. The lyrics aren’t so poetic and the music is in every pop style going, and the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals. With a clever and simple set by Simon Kenny, the show is slickly choregraphed by director Gary Lloyd, whose full company snorting cocaine routine in Everyone’s Taking Cocaine is brilliantly grotesque.

This is the inaugural show at Neon 194 – and a high calibre theatre in the round it has turned into. However, for a new musical with a great live band playing, it is a travesty that the band are nowhere to be seen. It has become part of the course in musical theatre not to see the musicians – and that does effect the whole experience of a musical.

Today, the woke world is more aware of mental health and addiction – so taking us back to the nineties is maybe an unnecessary step too far?

LIZZIE at Southwark Playhouse Elephant

★★★

“The score pulses like blood from a severed major artery”

As we wander into the dimly lit auditorium, there is a music box centre stage bathed in sepulchral light. It chimes like a nursery rhyme, but the tone has an ominous quality. This shadow of unease is darkened by the slowly rotating axe that replaces the ballet dancer that would normally ornament the music box. We feel that something is not quite right.

“Lizzie” – billed as a True Crime Rock Musical – tells the story of Lizzie Borden; a complex character who was accused of murdering her father and stepmother with an axe in the late summer of 1892 in Fall River, Massachusetts. Written by Tim Maner, Steven Cheslik-deMeyer and Alan Stevens Hewitt, it bursts onto the stage with the force of a recklessly wielded hatchet. The score pulses like blood from a severed major artery. It is exciting and powerful. Yet we know that something is not quite right.

The problem lies in the source material. Lizzie Borden passed into American folklore via the widespread publicity her trial received. Inevitably this gives rise to speculation, half-truths and fabrication but the plain fact is that Borden was acquitted. The police investigation was a shambles and criticised for its lack of diligence, and Borden’s testimonies were suspect to say the least. Contradictory answers to questioning, changing alibis and dubious statements all failed to bring a conviction. Although a free woman, she still lived with the burden of being the prime suspect of a murder that was never solved.

“This is definitely quirky and sassy, and it will get the blood flowing freely”

William Whelton’s production, however, leaves us in no doubt. Lizzie Borden comes across as a pretty cold-blooded murderer. There are attempts to get the audience on her side, but we are left just as cold. Alleged sexual and emotional abuse are revealed. Oppression and fear are used in mitigation, yet we still never root for her. Lauren Drew handles the material exceedingly well, giving as much of a human face as possible to a soul-less and manipulative personality. And the frequent doses of comedy help the bitter taste go down. She is aided and abetted throughout by her sister Emma (played with gusto by Shekinah McFarlane), and by her winking, all-knowing maid, Bridget (Mairi Barclay). Maiya Quansah-Breed completes the quartet as Lizzie’s friend, lover, ally and accuser. A complex journey simultaneously driven and hindered by a romantic sub plot.

Yet the show manages to rise above its drawbacks on the strength of its bombast and spectacularity. Almost sung through, “Lizzie” is in effect a concept album thrust onto the stage. More Prog Rock than the Punk it advertises, it therefore has a richness buried deep into the hardcore backing. All four performers complement this with stunning vocals and electrifying commitment. Rachel Tansey’s costume places the cast in a nineteenth century New England backwater, which jars, until they regenerate into the modern rock chick look that the music dictates. Andrew Exeter’s lighting is impressive, mixing intimate, Gothic hues with epic stadium rock-concert flourishes. There is plenty to applaud, and the audience are certainly on their feet doing that in abundance.

Yet we are ultimately brought back to the nagging sensation that something is not quite right. The message is perturbing. The girl power mantel doesn’t sit well on a story that is angled to let a murderess walk away scot-free. The attempts at comedy don’t always sit comfortably either. We come away not sure how we are supposed to feel. But at least we feel something. Our heartbeats have been raised quite a few beats per minute. This is definitely quirky and sassy, and it will get the blood flowing freely. Not as freely, thankfully, as Lizzie Borden’s victims.

REHAB THE MUSICAL at Neon 194

★★★

“Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone”

“the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals”

REHAB THE MUSICAL at Neon 194

Reviewed on 16th January 2024

by Debbie Rich

Photography by Mark Senior

Recently reviewed shows:

REHAB THE MUSICAL

REHAB THE MUSICAL

LIZZIE at Southwark Playhouse Elephant

★★★

“The score pulses like blood from a severed major artery”

“This is definitely quirky and sassy, and it will get the blood flowing freely”

LIZZIE at Southwark Playhouse Elephant

Reviewed on 1st November 2023

by Jonathan Evans

Photography by Pamela Raith

Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:

Lizzie

Lizzie