FUN AT THE BEACH ROMP-BOMP-A-LOMP!! at Southwark Playhouse Borough

★★★

“If at times the show feels like it might sink beneath the waves, the performers are on hand to rescue it”

It’s hard to believe that we are barely three weeks away from the longest day of the year. The first day of summer. The clouds over London are grey, and a chill wind cuts through concrete avenues peopled by grim figures hiding under umbrellas. Not a Hawaiian shirt in sight, and thoughts of romping on a beach are… well – just thoughts. Vague dreams or distant memories.

Until, that is, you pass through the doors of Southwark Playhouse into the surreal world that is “Fun at the Beach Romp-Bomp-A-Lomp!!”. A world where the sun shines, albeit still only metaphorically, and where you’d have to be a real grouch to stop your mouth twitching into the shape of a smile. You have to admire the show’s creators, and their candid confession about the inspiration behind this romp through musical theatre. Having witnessed a jukebox musical that was (in their words) ‘staggeringly painful’ to watch, Martin Landry (book) and Brandon Lambert (music and lyrics) set themselves the task of writing a musical that was even worse.

And there you have it. Every step of the way Landry and Lambert expected the axe to fall, the plug to be pulled and test audiences to walk away. However, judging by the gathering at Southwark, they can happily bathe in, and surf on, the waves of laughter that come crashing down on their gag-riddled shores. It is not quite a jukebox musical. The musical numbers are all parodies and pastiches of well-known originals. The show is itself a parody. You begin by thinking it is making fun of the genre, but all it is really doing is making fun of itself. The butt of its own joke.

A simple premise. Each song title is a synonym. ‘It’s In His Kiss’ becomes ‘It’s In His Peck’ and makes great fun of the banal question and answer lyrical format. ‘Locomotion’ is now ‘The Ocean Motion’, The Beach Boys ‘Surfin’ U.S.A.’ morphs into ‘Surf America’ (genius, eh?), ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry’ is repackaged as ‘Mature Women Don’t Whine’… you get the drift. ‘Such fun’ – as Patricia Hodge would say in joyful desperation in a certain television sitcom. Which is the point. Don’t even try to make sense of the book onto which the songs are dolloped like an over-generous scoop of ice-cream onto a soggy, wafer-thin cone.

A motley crew of drifters skim onto the sun-drenched seaside to enter a bizarre ‘King – or Queen – of the beach’ competition. The challenges start out innocently enough before descending into a bit of a bloodbath. Meanwhile, virginal love matches swiftly nosedive into scandalous sagas of submarine adultery, and the supernatural is occasionally thrown onto the sand like twisted pieces of flotsam. A lot of the humour relies on repetition and stretching the gag to breaking point, but there are gems to be picked up if you’re in the right mood to detect them.

If at times the show feels like it might sink beneath the waves, the performers are on hand to rescue it, like breezy, Westcoast lifeguards relishing the fact they have the best job in the world. Their tongue-in-cheek sense of fun is infectious as they splash on the factor fifty cliché’s. Yet there is little protection to be had from the relentless cheesiness and silliness, so all that’s left is to just let go, ignore your bewilderment, and join in the fun. We are powerless. Even the privilege of making fun of it is taken away from us – they are doing such a good job of it themselves. Therein lies its genius, exemplified by some artfully and brilliantly timed lines of dialogue. “Even the stupidest musical can survive if it has one decent song”. Quad erat demonstradum. What more can I say!

FUN AT THE BEACH ROMP-BOMP-A-LOMP!! at Southwark Playhouse Borough

Reviewed on 30th May 2024

by Jonathan Evans

Photography by Danny Kaan

Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:

SAPPHO | ★★ | May 2024

CAPTAIN AMAZING | ★★★★★ | May 2024

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND | ★★★★★ | April 2024

SHERLOCK HOLMES: THE VALLEY OF FEAR | ★★½ | March 2024

POLICE COPS: THE MUSICAL | ★★★★ | March 2024

CABLE STREET – A NEW MUSICAL | ★★★ | February 2024

BEFORE AFTER | ★★★ | February 2024

AFTERGLOW | ★★★★ | January 2024

UNFORTUNATE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF URSULA THE SEA WITCH A MUSICAL PARODY | ★★★★ | December 2023

GARRY STARR PERFORMS EVERYTHING | ★★★½ | December 2023

LIZZIE | ★★★ | November 2023

MANIC STREET CREATURE | ★★★★ | October 2023

FUN AT THE BEACH

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★★

“There’s much here that could be funny if only it were slicker, shorter and snappier.”

I must admit to not having seen the first Cluedo stage adaptation, but I am reassured that this second play is all new (writers Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran). I can confess to having spent many hours playing the legendary board game in my youth and thought myself an expert sleuth at the time (with rather a secret crush on Miss Scarlett). So I was delighted to see on entering the theatre, a beautifully designed set comprising a giant portrayal of the classic gameboard with a cartoonesque manor house superimposed upon it (designer David Farley).

There is nothing noir or sinister about this production, and nor should there be. We see a shady character lurking in the shadows on occasions but, otherwise, the gruesome nature of murder by whoever, wherever, with whatever is lighthearted. The characters are as cardboard cutout as they can be, resembling it too, as they often stand so statically (director Mark Bell). Nearly the whole ensemble overplay their roles, but the production lacks a twinkle in the eye or a knowing acknowledgement that this is what they are doing.

The plot, such as it is, sees 1960s rock superstar Rick Black (Liam Horrigan) assemble a group of people in his massive country manor house to assess the new album which is going to resuscitate his floundering career. A slow preamble lets us in on backstory amongst the gathering and we discover past and present liaisons, secret identities, and who might have it in for whom if pushed far enough. There could be a lot of fun to be had here but much of the narrative is too long and too slow. Running gags run on too far and the staging is often clumsy and ponderous. We are also witness to a most contrived and least convincing love scene.

The characters are, of course, dressed in their appropriate colours but not garishly so. Colonel Mustard could have been yellower, Professor Plum more purple. Miss Scarlett certainly looks the part in a bright red mini dress, and Mrs Peacock too in an elegant blue gown. Between scenes, quasi-balletic sequences see the group of suspects and soon-to-be victims move around the house often in effective slow motion (movement director Anna Healey). Windows, doors, and picture frames are flown in and out as the company explores the building from room to room.

Sadly, the ensemble isn’t as slick as it could be. Jason Durr as Colonel Mustard shouts in a broad southern states American accent that greatly affects the clarity of his diction. Ellie Leach (in her stage debut) as Miss Scarlett is competent enough but lacks nuance. Edward Howells as the non-professor Professor Plum does what he can with a character so weak that he can’t himself explain quite what he is doing there. However, Hannah Boyce as Mrs Peacock commands the stage and our attention, holding her character and accent throughout. Dawn Buckland gives the performance of the night as the down-to-earth Cook, Mrs White, who pops up in unexpected places suggesting she knows the secrets of the house’s hidden passages. Jack Bennett as the “I’m an actor, not a butler” butler Wadsworth carries a single joke and much of the weight of the physical comedy.

But the whole thing doesn’t quite hold together. There’s much here that could be funny if only it were slicker, shorter and snappier.

FUN AT THE BEACH ROMP-BOMP-A-LOMP!! at Southwark Playhouse Borough

★★★

“If at times the show feels like it might sink beneath the waves, the performers are on hand to rescue it”

FUN AT THE BEACH ROMP-BOMP-A-LOMP!! at Southwark Playhouse Borough

Reviewed on 30th May 2024

by Jonathan Evans

Photography by Danny Kaan

Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:

FUN AT THE BEACH

FUN AT THE BEACH

CLUEDO 2: THE NEXT CHAPTER at Cambridge Arts Theatre

★★

“There’s much here that could be funny if only it were slicker, shorter and snappier.”

CLUEDO 2: THE NEXT CHAPTER at Cambridge Arts Theatre

Reviewed on 25th March 2024

by Phillip Money

Photography by Alastair Muir

UK tour of Cluedo 2 continues to July – click logo below for further info

Previously reviewed at this venue:

CLUEDO 2

CLUEDO 2