WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough

★★★★★

“Alex Hill is outstanding. He performs the role of Billy with such energy and dynamism it’s exhausting just to watch”

Ever wondered what might cause a man to do something as reckless as sticking a flare up his bum at the World Cup final? In the appropriately titled Why I stuck a Flare Up my Arse for England, writer, performer and producer Alex Hill gives us his interpretation which is funny, charming and surprisingly heartfelt all at once.

Hill introduces us to Billy Kinley, a kid from southwest London who grows up with an inherited love for the game. He and his best mate Adam are football mad – kicking about in the park and attending local club AFC Wimbledon weekly. When they leave school, Adam gets a job in the City whilst Billy works at the hairdressers run by his parents, but they still meet at the local café every week for a full English before the game. Then they meet ‘the King’ of the old firm, inexplicably named Winegum, and his equally obtusely named mates. Billy gets stuck in with the boozing, coke, and fighting, but Adam is reticent and their friendship starts to change.

There’s a lot that’s only briefly touched on, or left entirely unsaid: about Billy and Adam’s relationship but also about Billy’s grief over his mum’s death, and his burgeoning relationship with Daisy, the café’s waitress. Whilst this may slightly hamper the exposition, it certainly adds to the sense that Billy is coasting through life, not thinking too deeply about anyone or anything, just to get by. It’s intelligently and intentionally emotionally shallow, right up until the closing moments.

Alex Hill is outstanding. He performs the role of Billy with such energy and dynamism it’s exhausting just to watch. Under Sean Turner’s direction, Hill darts across the stage from pillar to post; necks not one, but two pints (the second largely, excusably, going down his front); and essentially barely takes a breath throughout. Hill even dials the energy up to eleven after taking his first line and having a rager at Infernos; or when he gets into his first fight and keeps punching until white noise takes over; or when the drum beat of Match Day, pints, gear, fight builds to a climax. Props must also be given to his script, littered with wry observations and rhetorical devices that keep the audience tittering throughout.

For a one man, one hour long show there are a surprising number of locations, each subtly situated with expert lighting, sound and stage design. Designer Joel Clements’ immediately sets the tone with distressed England flags of various shapes and sizes stitched together to form an almost quilted backdrop. Matt Cater’s lighting design expertly delivers, making the most of the full rig of the Southwark Playhouse. Together with sound designer Sam Baxter, the full design of this show leads to particular moments of playfulness – for example where a pool table appears on stage from a green rectangular gobo; or when the lights come up on the audience and strings of fairy lights appear accompanied by the sound of tuning strings with Alex as Billy shimmying into a seat at a West End theatre.

This interplay between theatre and football is skilfully observed by Hill. It’s a theme that’s definitely in vogue as evidenced by the abundance of football themed theatre of late. The National Theatre’s blockbuster ‘Dear England’ and the Bush Theatre’s ‘Red Pitch’ both received stellar reviews from this site. As Hill uses Billy to point out, it’s perhaps the theatricality and the drama of the game that makes football ripe for interpretation on the stage. But more than that, for men in particular, football is also the primary source of community and friendship in their lives – making it a thoroughly apt way to explore the contemporary male psyche. For a piece with such a plainly humorous title it’s a surprisingly multi-layered exploration of masculinity, friendship, romantic relationships and family.

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough

Reviewed on 22nd April 2024

by Amber Woodward

Photography by Rah Petherbridge

Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:

SHERLOCK HOLMES: THE VALLEY OF FEAR | ★★½ | March 2024

POLICE COPS: THE MUSICAL | ★★★★ | March 2024

CABLE STREET – A NEW MUSICAL | ★★★ | February 2024

BEFORE AFTER | ★★★ | February 2024

AFTERGLOW | ★★★★ | January 2024

UNFORTUNATE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF URSULA THE SEA WITCH A MUSICAL PARODY | ★★★★ | December 2023

GARRY STARR PERFORMS EVERYTHING | ★★★½ | December 2023

LIZZIE | ★★★ | November 2023

MANIC STREET CREATURE | ★★★★ | October 2023

THE CHANGELING | ★★★½ | October 2023

RIDE | ★★★ | July 2023

HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS … | ★★★★★ | May 2023

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND

Click here to see our Recommended Shows page

★★½

“the show is so busy trying to shout about how controversial and important it is that it disregards actually saying anything of meaning”

Calf 2 Cow’s mission statement for BackPAGE on their programme sets the scene for an intellectually and emotionally provocative piece of theatre that pushes boundaries and deepens the audience’s perspectives on important issues. Unfortunately, these lofty aims are left unfulfilled by promising design that is let down by a vague and naive script from Matt Emeny.

BackPAGE follows the story of Lucky (Holly Fripp), a girl from SmallTown who gets embroiled in the sex trafficking schemes of La Pa (Michael Difford) and Scab (Colleen Hedley) in a trip to BigCity. The plot appears to riff off Alice in Wonderland as Lucky arrives in a strange world and is bandied around from situation to situation, but it lacks the specificity and detail in the world it’s trying to create to feel coherent; it contains too much absurdity to be the realistic, but never sets out the logic on which this created world operates. As such, the status quo of the world, its rules, and the consequences of actions feel muddy and undefined.

The show features a wealth of in-yer-face-esque moments containing violence, sexual assault, and other depictions designed to discomfort the audience, but they feel devoid of heft as they often give the impression of being provocative for provocation’s sake, and not to lend gravitas to deeply important issues. BackPAGE’s claim of interrogating the everyday horrors of sex trafficking feels hollow when the show appears more concerned with shocking the audience with its style than with its substance, and subsequently comes across as under-researched, exploitative, and naive to the sensitivity required in portraying such serious subject matter. This is evident in the script’s treatment of its female characters – specifically Lucky, who spends a significant portion of the play in just her underwear, and possesses almost no agency, instead always serving as a subject to someone else’s agenda and never having one of her own to pursue.

BackPAGE has a woman-centric issue displayed here through a male gaze, which is personified fully in the character of La Pa – an elite who abuses his power and privilege in heinous ways, who is never challenged, nor ever faces any negative consequences for his actions as part of a system perpetuating disturbing problems.

As La Pa, Difford appears to be having a little too much fun in his performance, heightening the sense of obliviousness to the subject matter found in the script, but other performances do help greatly to add a sense of weight to the writing. Tommy Carmichael is immensely energetic and engrossing as Lucky’s boyfriend as well as her father, and Fripp as Lucky manages to bring elements of distress and humanity to a story that feels in dire need of it.

It’s a shame that the writing wasn’t more mature and sensitive, as BackPAGE pulls off a number of elements with aplomb; Emeny’s direction and design make each scene feel unique with a minimalistic and inventively utilised set, that with the help of Connor Sullivan’s lighting paint a number of environments swiftly and effectively. However, these aspects don’t achieve their full effect as the show is so busy trying to shout about how controversial and important it is that it disregards actually saying anything of meaning.

Reviewed by Jake Moran

Photography courtesy Calf 2 Cow

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough

★★★★★

“Alex Hill is outstanding. He performs the role of Billy with such energy and dynamism it’s exhausting just to watch”

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough

Reviewed on 22nd April 2024

by Amber Woodward

Photography by Rah Petherbridge

Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND

WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND

Lion and Unicorn Theatre

Reviewed – 10th February 2019

★★½

“the show is so busy trying to shout about how controversial and important it is that it disregards actually saying anything of meaning”

Reviewed by Jake Moran

Photography courtesy Calf 2 Cow

BackPAGE

Lion and Unicorn Theatre until 13th February

Previously reviewed at this venue: