★★★

“Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone”

You’re a Wanker – is the opening number of Rehab the Musical and when the end comes, the audience leaves the venue merrily singing it.

It’s the hedonistic nineties when paparazzi, selling stories to the gutter press and dodgy rehabilitation clinics are all the rage. Out of control popster Kid Pop (Christian Maynard) is papped snorting cocaine; so the judge gives him 60 days in rehab, to mend his ways. But his dastardly manager Malcolm Stone (Keith Allen), sets about to keep Kid on the front pages by putting a mole inside The Grange, to dish the dirt on our Kid.

But how do you heal in 60 days? By meeting all the other inmates staying at The Grange. Meet the joyous selection of addicts with big and honest hearts. With addictions to food, drink, gambling and sex; via tanning and cheese addictions we hear their stories as they reveal their innermost obsessions in their daily therapy circle. And it’s here that the real heart of this musical is found through these extreme but loveable characters, brought to life by a line-up of stalwart and talented West End musical theatre performers including: John Barr as tanning addict Barry Bronze, Rebecca Thornhill as ex Bond girl and alcoholic Jane Killy, and Oscar Conlon-Morrey as the heart-breaking Phil Newman whose song Ordinary Girl is a highlight.

“the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals”

Christian Maynard, as Kid Pop, has all the moves, but is not able to bring such a two dimensional character to life, making his journey to redemption hard to believe. Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone in toupee and large moustache – and even manages to talk his way through his songs with aplomb. Jodie Steele, as Stone’s sidekick Beth, is underwritten; but we get a glimpse of her steel in the song Die at 27.

Rehab the Musical has music and lyrics by Grant Black and Murray Lachlan Young, with book by Elliot Davis – they all have their own personal history in rehab, addiction and recovery. Addiction is a serious subject but Rehab does have a few laughs too – plus some seriously bad jokes taking the names of Dame Shirley Bassey and Sir Tom Jones in vain – all so nineties. The lyrics aren’t so poetic and the music is in every pop style going, and the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals. With a clever and simple set by Simon Kenny, the show is slickly choregraphed by director Gary Lloyd, whose full company snorting cocaine routine in Everyone’s Taking Cocaine is brilliantly grotesque.

This is the inaugural show at Neon 194 – and a high calibre theatre in the round it has turned into. However, for a new musical with a great live band playing, it is a travesty that the band are nowhere to be seen. It has become part of the course in musical theatre not to see the musicians – and that does effect the whole experience of a musical.

Today, the woke world is more aware of mental health and addiction – so taking us back to the nineties is maybe an unnecessary step too far?

REHAB THE MUSICAL at the Playground Theatre

★★★★★

“the entertainment factor is what drives this show with its irresistible force”

Kid Pop (Jonny Labey) is a rock star; top of the game and at the height of fame. He has the whole world in his hands, yet he is in the firm clutches of his addiction to cocaine and alcohol. Inevitably he is up against an unsympathetic judge after the tabloids splash his drug habit on the front pages. Expecting a custodial sentence, he is instead sent into rehab for sixty days. Kid Pop cockily accepts this as a free holiday rather than the journey into the wilderness we follow him on. He is, of course, in denial. In control. The drugs are in control – but so is his pr man, Malcolm Stone (Keith Allen) whose hold over him proves to be almost as fatal as the narcotics. Labey and Allen are portraying vivid caricatures here, but the beauty of their performances lightens them into warm shades of humanity. A skill shared by the entire cast.

The story, to some degree, stems from songwriter Grant Black’s and Britpop poet Murray Lachlan’s personal battles with addiction and mental health. But far from preaching they have alchemised their experiences, along with writer Elliot Davis, into a shining gem of musical theatre. It has just the right balance of humour and pathos, shallowness and depth to appeal to the masses. Yes, the journey is a touch predictable, and the twists in the road clearly signposted, but the entertainment factor is what drives this show with its irresistible force.

Labey is enjoying every moment, barely able to contain his delight even in the darker moments. He has sixty days to recover in ‘The Glade’; the rehabilitation centre populated with his fellow addicts. Depicted as misfits they resemble everyman – perhaps a symbol of the ubiquity of addiction. The velvet voiced Phil Sealey is poignantly magnificent as over-eater Phil while Annabel Giles hilariously recounts the past shenanigans of sex-addict Jane Killy (numerous name-drops of real-life celebrities will surely have lawyers working overtime!). ‘The Glade’ even houses a tanning addict. “Yes – it’s a thing” deadpans John Barr in a glorious turn as Barry Bronze, forever showing polaroids of his orange skin from past holidays.

While Kid Pop counts his days in rehab, Malcolm Stone desperately and ruthlessly tries to keep his protégé in the headlines and his name alive (if not the client). Obsessive, corrupt and foul, Allen amazingly renders him likeable. Jodie Steele gives a star turn as sidekick Beth Boscombe, hard as steel (no pun intended) but with a heart, and voice, of gold. The show stealer, though, is Gloria Onitiri as Lucy Blake, sent into ‘The Glade’ by Stone to spy on Kid Pop. Onitiri’s presence and outstanding vocals are as dangerously intoxicating as the subject matter.

The writers have put together a wonderfully strong piece of theatre. It shuns digging deep into the nature of addiction, but it never belittles it. The abundant humour never mocks these characters – there is too much affection and care in the writing. But let us not forget that this is a musical. And the score is exceptional. From stadium rock to cheesy-pop; power ballads alternate with rousing ensemble pieces. Duets and solos tug our hearts in all directions possible. All pulsing with wonderfully clever and emotive lyrics, and swaying to the rhythms of Gary Lloyd’s sharp choreography.

“Rehab” comes with a message but is so beautifully dressed up in song and dance we soak it up without realising what we are learning. We are just swept along on the highs and lows of a truly addictive performance.

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REHAB THE MUSICAL

★★★

Neon 194

REHAB THE MUSICAL at Neon 194

★★★

“Keith Allen is clearly having a ball playing the scheming and corrupt Stone”

“the big ballads are sung with big belting vocals”

REHAB THE MUSICAL at Neon 194

Reviewed on 16th January 2024

by Debbie Rich

Photography by Mark Senior

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