WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough
★★★★★
“Alex Hill is outstanding. He performs the role of Billy with such energy and dynamism it’s exhausting just to watch”
Ever wondered what might cause a man to do something as reckless as sticking a flare up his bum at the World Cup final? In the appropriately titled Why I stuck a Flare Up my Arse for England, writer, performer and producer Alex Hill gives us his interpretation which is funny, charming and surprisingly heartfelt all at once.
Hill introduces us to Billy Kinley, a kid from southwest London who grows up with an inherited love for the game. He and his best mate Adam are football mad – kicking about in the park and attending local club AFC Wimbledon weekly. When they leave school, Adam gets a job in the City whilst Billy works at the hairdressers run by his parents, but they still meet at the local café every week for a full English before the game. Then they meet ‘the King’ of the old firm, inexplicably named Winegum, and his equally obtusely named mates. Billy gets stuck in with the boozing, coke, and fighting, but Adam is reticent and their friendship starts to change.
There’s a lot that’s only briefly touched on, or left entirely unsaid: about Billy and Adam’s relationship but also about Billy’s grief over his mum’s death, and his burgeoning relationship with Daisy, the café’s waitress. Whilst this may slightly hamper the exposition, it certainly adds to the sense that Billy is coasting through life, not thinking too deeply about anyone or anything, just to get by. It’s intelligently and intentionally emotionally shallow, right up until the closing moments.
Alex Hill is outstanding. He performs the role of Billy with such energy and dynamism it’s exhausting just to watch. Under Sean Turner’s direction, Hill darts across the stage from pillar to post; necks not one, but two pints (the second largely, excusably, going down his front); and essentially barely takes a breath throughout. Hill even dials the energy up to eleven after taking his first line and having a rager at Infernos; or when he gets into his first fight and keeps punching until white noise takes over; or when the drum beat of Match Day, pints, gear, fight builds to a climax. Props must also be given to his script, littered with wry observations and rhetorical devices that keep the audience tittering throughout.
For a one man, one hour long show there are a surprising number of locations, each subtly situated with expert lighting, sound and stage design. Designer Joel Clements’ immediately sets the tone with distressed England flags of various shapes and sizes stitched together to form an almost quilted backdrop. Matt Cater’s lighting design expertly delivers, making the most of the full rig of the Southwark Playhouse. Together with sound designer Sam Baxter, the full design of this show leads to particular moments of playfulness – for example where a pool table appears on stage from a green rectangular gobo; or when the lights come up on the audience and strings of fairy lights appear accompanied by the sound of tuning strings with Alex as Billy shimmying into a seat at a West End theatre.
This interplay between theatre and football is skilfully observed by Hill. It’s a theme that’s definitely in vogue as evidenced by the abundance of football themed theatre of late. The National Theatre’s blockbuster ‘Dear England’ and the Bush Theatre’s ‘Red Pitch’ both received stellar reviews from this site. As Hill uses Billy to point out, it’s perhaps the theatricality and the drama of the game that makes football ripe for interpretation on the stage. But more than that, for men in particular, football is also the primary source of community and friendship in their lives – making it a thoroughly apt way to explore the contemporary male psyche. For a piece with such a plainly humorous title it’s a surprisingly multi-layered exploration of masculinity, friendship, romantic relationships and family.
WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND at Southwark Playhouse Borough
Reviewed on 22nd April 2024
by Amber Woodward
Photography by Rah Petherbridge
Previously reviewed at Southwark Playhouse venues:
SHERLOCK HOLMES: THE VALLEY OF FEAR | ★★½ | March 2024
POLICE COPS: THE MUSICAL | ★★★★ | March 2024
CABLE STREET – A NEW MUSICAL | ★★★ | February 2024
BEFORE AFTER | ★★★ | February 2024
AFTERGLOW | ★★★★ | January 2024
UNFORTUNATE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF URSULA THE SEA WITCH A MUSICAL PARODY | ★★★★ | December 2023
GARRY STARR PERFORMS EVERYTHING | ★★★½ | December 2023
LIZZIE | ★★★ | November 2023
MANIC STREET CREATURE | ★★★★ | October 2023
THE CHANGELING | ★★★½ | October 2023
RIDE | ★★★ | July 2023
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS … | ★★★★★ | May 2023
WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND
WHY I STUCK A FLARE UP MY ARSE FOR ENGLAND
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