★★★★

“Mitchell Harper’s choreography is a standout, full of bravado, athleticism and personality”

You wait all year for a parody of the hit hockey drama ‘Heated Rivalry’ and then three turn up at once. That’s right, ‘Deep Heat Rivalry: The Porno Panto On Ice’ is the latest addition to the parody phenomenon sweeping the nation, making its world premiere as a gloriously camp, unapologetically queer and laugh-out-loud celebration of the show’s cultural impact.

Ice hockey superstars Shane Hollandaise and Ilya Stroganoff are known for their public friction. But a different kind of heat’s rising behind closed doors. Can they make room for love on such a public platform? And how many divas must Diana Vickers spoof to get there?

Writers Trevor Ashley and Phil Scott gleefully raid the panto playbook for this hilariously irreverent romp. A talking puck – naturally named Puck – guides us through the action with all the sparkle of a Fairy Godmother, firing off rhyming couplets until even they give up. There’s a larger-than-life Diva with more costume changes than a panto dame, plenty of audience participation, and a barrage of parody songs. Though the first half is stronger than the second – with momentum dipping slightly towards the end, and a couple of songs lacking the same punch – the show’s greatest achievement is its accessibility. You don’t need to know the series to have a great time: going in blind, it’s wickedly funny and deliciously naughty; after frantically bingeing the series, you appreciate how cleverly it spoofs the source material without being overly tethered to it. Better still, it pursues an even happier panto-style ending of its own. A thoroughly entertaining and winningly silly night out.

Ashley’s direction is knowingly irreverent, delivering a lovingly camp take on the central romance. Where ‘Heated Rivalry’ leans into sincerity and emotional depth, ‘Deep-Heat Rivalry’ packs in musical theatre moments, pop culture nods and a carousel of cultural icons. It leans into the series’ steamy reputation, with cheeky (literally) bedroom scenes and plenty of innuendo, all without crossing into full nudity. Like any self-respecting panto, it’s fuelled by parody songs, many of them queer anthems, which drive the story while keeping the laughs coming. It makes smart use of the compact space, regularly spilling into the auditorium and kidnapping audience members to create a lively sense of complicity. The pacing is brisk for the most part, though loses a little steam in the second half. Mitchell Harper’s choreography is a standout, full of bravado, athleticism and personality, while still allowing space for some vulnerability. I especially love the tongue in cheek take on ‘Anything Goes’, complete with tap track gags. One or two numbers feel more static by comparison, but overall this is a slick, playful and irresistibly fun production.

Reuben Speed’s set is a cut above the usual DIY panto aesthetic, with wraparound sports fans, an LED-edged rink and a glittering title perched above it all. Matt Hockley’s lighting channels sporting spectacle with a camp twist, with roving coloured spotlights setting the mood before the show’s even begun. Joshua Robins’ sound design is slick, if occasionally a touch overpowering, with some lyrical gags getting lost in the mix. Angie White’s costumes range from eye-catching to barely-there, with Puck’s daringly revealing leotard a particular highlight.

The show’s greatest asset is its superb cast. This fierce foursome (wink) attack every gag, lyric and dance break with infectious energy, razor-sharp comic timing and impressive precision. Sario Solomon brings just the right mix of angst and devotion to Shane, while Jason Leigh Winter nails Ilya’s brooding, laconic cool before gleefully unleashing his camp side. Diana Vickers is a comic chameleon as The Diva, switching effortlessly between characters while showing off a powerhouse vocal range. Though the glue of the show is Ross Chisari’s Puck, a mischievous master of ceremonies who keeps the audience firmly in the palm of his hand with boundless energy throughout. A fabulous ensemble.

‘Deep Heat Rivalry’ is a worthy addition to the ‘Heated Rivalry’ canon and, with Christmas officially less than 100 days away (sorry), it’s the perfect excuse for an early dose of panto.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: A HORNY LOVE STORY

Charing Cross Theatre

★★★★

“it’s a joy to watch the exuberant camaraderie spread among the cast”

When Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve’s “La Belle et la Bête” was first published in the early eighteenth century, it rapidly entered into folklore, spreading beyond its native France to Italy, Spain, Portugal, Belgium, Eastern Europe, Scandinavia, Southern and Eastern Asia and North and South America. You could say worldwide, I guess. Along the way it adopted many different titles, but we all know it by its literal translation, “Beauty and the Beast”. Why am I telling you this? You already know. Embedded in childhood and then reinforced in adulthood through stage and screen, the story is like a comfort blanket for us; a seasonal favourite – instantly familiar.

Familiar, that is, until writers Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper get their filthy little fingers on it. The story’s path does kind of lead you from start to finish, but its twisting, staggering, drunken meanderings will trip you up from the outset. ‘Losing the plot’ is an apt phrase here. It’s best just to follow blindly and go with the flow. Though you’re still likely to lose your footing, for you’ll be creasing up with laughter. You simply won’t have time, nor the inclination, to scrutinise the storyline.

We are in the Scottish hamlet of Lickmanochers (neighbouring village, Suckmacoch, is just across the valley). The eponymous ‘Beauty’ is now Bertie, who helps run the town’s only petrol station/general store along with his sister and overbearing mother. They each seem to be looking for love, or rather just the raunchy side effects. This is “Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story” after all. Some may argue it’s nonsense, but that just shows a lack of imagination. It goes without saying, surely, that our protagonists will end up on a North Sea oil rig staffed by pop band Village People’s failed auditionees. Via the beast’s castle of course. The beast is called Charlie (a pretty sexy beast, mind, if you happen to go for the hirsute look). Bertie’s sister, Bonnie, hits it off with good fairy, Juno, but by now Bertie is too busy rescuing his mum, Flora, from the beast’s castle to notice. Charlie’s brother, the villainous Cornelius, is responsible for his beastly curse. True love will put it all to rights, with the help of magic plums, origami table decorations that are actually legal documents pertinent to the plot, adult jokes-a-plenty, some cracking songs and dollops of cream pies flung into the audience.

It’s all over the top, but the cast perform with a restraint that allows the clever witticisms to land perfectly alongside the obvious jokes. The songs are sassy – hilariously warped Disney pastiches – while the dialogue is strewn with filmic and theatre references, many of which may be missed; but don’t worry – there’s plenty to go round. And it’s a joy to watch the exuberant camaraderie spread among the cast. Matt Kennedy plays Bertie with a wide-eyed innocence – like a children’s television presenter who lets his scandalous side slip once the cameras stop rolling. Laura Anna-Mead, as his sapphic sister, is a cheeky wee lass that Dani Mirels’ Juno understandably finds irresistible. Chris Lane is all moustachioed villainy as the baddie Cornelius and Keanu Adolphus Johnson’s beast is an unexpected heartthrob. Many in the audience might wonder why Bertie would want to reverse the curse on this dashing castle-dweller. At the heart of the show is Matthew Baldwin as Flora. The epitome of the ‘dame’, Baldwin is ‘extraordinaire’; holding the audience in the palm of his hands with a seasoned ease, while sporting some delightfully outlandish costumes (designer Robert Draper provides the sartorial icing on the cake).

Billed as a queer pantomime, it out spins its classification. The irreverence and humour is obviously targeted, but the unashamedly adult humour is universal. The theatre company, ‘He’s Behind You’, are behind this show and it has the balance spot on. Anybody can in indulge in the mischievous magic. Well – almost anybody. This ‘horny love story’ is not what you’d call a family show. But it welcomes you into its own naughty little ménage. Gorgeously gay – whatever dictionary you’re using to define the word.

Tag Archives: Matt Hockley

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

★★★★

The Other Palace

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

The Other Palace

★★★★

“Mitchell Harper’s choreography is a standout, full of bravado, athleticism and personality”

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

The Other Palace

Reviewed on 16th September 2026

by Hannah Bothelton

Photography by Mark Senior

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

DEEP-HEAT RIVALRY

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: A HORNY LOVE STORY

★★★★

Charing Cross Theatre

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: A HORNY LOVE STORY

Charing Cross Theatre

★★★★

“it’s a joy to watch the exuberant camaraderie spread among the cast”